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Monday, October 5, 2015

Big Bags filled with Air

Last week we went to a big grocery store... it was all decorated with Halloween stuff... Masks and big inflatable decorations were everywhere... My 4 year old is very sensitive to those things and no matter how many times I've told her there's nothing to be afraid of, she still shivers at the sight of those things. My 7 year old on the other hand is no longer scared of them and she tries to help me convince her sister that there's nothing to be afraid of because Jesus is with us, mommy is right there and those things are not even real.

Interestingly my littlest one is still terrified but at the same time oddly mesmerized by those big inflatable "monsters" and while very afraid and shaky she still takes a peek through her fingers while covering her face.

"Those are just huge bags filled with air" I tell her
"Those things aren't real! They are just like huge balloons" I reassure her

My oldest one, while very compassionate and patient tells me "I don't understand why she is still so afraid" and the best way to explain it to her presented itself that night.

I usually send my girls to bed at 8 p.m... They are usually still giggling and talking with each other until one or both end up falling asleep... But that night was different and my oldest came to me with tears in her eyes and told me: "Mommy! I am so afraid... I keep thinking in my head that you are dead" I know exactly what she is talking about... and I know is totally unrelated to the "monsters in the store" because those thoughts are sadly common for her... just like they were for me when I was her age... just like they are for me still this day!

Talking in all honesty my fears are so "real" that they show themselves in my head... almost like pictures! I can SEE the very things that scare me the most "happening" in my head! When I was little I was afraid my parents would die, I could see them like a clear image in my head... lifeless... with their eyes open... "staring at me" but not really looking. I remember how afraid I was sometimes even to get home from school because those images would "attack" me while at school and I was afraid to confirm my fears once I would get home... Those fears are still very "real" for me to this day... But today is not my parents or my siblings what appear in my horrible "awake-nightmares" it's my husband or my daughters! And those thoughts make me even gasp for air! It's not always the same fear... the fears are way more "complex" now... it's not just "death" or a "blank stare" it's so much more! And it's the knowledge of our sick/dark world that has made my nightmares way more elaborated.

So when my 7 year old came to me that night, crying about what she was "seeing"... I was happy I got the answer so quickly! I told her:

- "Those are just huge bags filled with air"
- "What?" she said.
- "Yes baby! Remember at the store you couldn't understand why your sister was so afraid of those bags? Well... she was scared because to her, those monsters seem sooo real... but ... are they?"
- "No, they are not!" she replied
- "Well, your fears look big, and real! but they are not! and we need to fill ourselves with truth and understand what's real RIGHT NOW so we can overcome and not be afraid of those *monsters* anymore... once we see them for what they are... they won't be as scary and every time we see them again we will just have to remember the TRUTH about them"
- "Ah! I see!" She said wiping her tears and almost with a smile in her face.

So I proceeded to read out loud from Psalm 91: (it was the first one that came to mind)

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.

As I said each word of these verses tears started washing my own fears away... fears that I wasn't even thinking about before I started reading... But the Word of God is surely alive and it reveals things! It changes, transforms, cleanses, breaks, restores, heals and convicts!  My daughter and I had a special moment... when we both just admitted our very weaknesses and our need to go to God and give it all to Him... Praise God for His Word and for the freedom we still have to read it to one another.

Are there any "Bags filled with air" scaring you right now? they might be very different from what I described but... what is it that you're going through? Are you experiencing anxiety? overwhelming sadness? paralyzing fear in your life? Deflate them with THE TRUTH! Pop those huge, scary balloons that look sooo real and powerful with the sharp sword of His Word. Let the big scary shadows vanish with His light! I am not saying I know exactly what you're going through... I am sure you might even have very justifiable reasons to feel the way you do... But remember you have a Sword, a Shelter, a Refuge, a Strong Tower... Our Almighty God and His Holy Word at all times with you. What are your favorite Bible verses for times of desperate need of comfort/peace and encouragement? Share them so we can together focus on the TRUTH.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philipians 4:8

© Paloma K.


Briana Thomas said...

Amen - beautifully written. Praise the Lord!

Paloma said...

Thank you Briana!

Karen F. said...

Yes, yes I do have my own "bags of air", and I'd be powerless against them without the Lord-He truly is my refuge and my fortress!

Unknown said...

Good post Paloma and well said!

Paloma said...

Thank you both Karen and Teresia for stopping by! ... Amen Karen!