Big Bags filled with Air

Last week we went to a big grocery store... it was all decorated with Halloween stuff... Masks and big inflatable decorations were everywhere... My 4 year old is very sensitive to those things and no matter how many times I've told her there's nothing to be afraid of, she still shivers at the sight of those things. My 7 year old on the other hand is no longer scared of them and she tries to help me convince her sister that there's nothing to be afraid of because Jesus is with us, mommy is right there and those things are not even real.

Interestingly my littlest one is still terrified but at the same time oddly mesmerized by those big inflatable "monsters" and while very afraid and shaky she still takes a peek through her fingers while covering her face.

"Those are just huge bags filled with air" I tell her
"Those things aren't real! They are just like huge balloons" I reassure her

My oldest one, while very compassionate and patient tells me "I don't understand why she is still so afraid" and the best way to explain it to her presented itself that night.

I usually send my girls to bed at 8 p.m... They are usually still giggling and talking with each other until one or both end up falling asleep... But that night was different and my oldest came to me with tears in her eyes and told me: "Mommy! I am so afraid... I keep thinking in my head that you are dead" I know exactly what she is talking about... and I know is totally unrelated to the "monsters in the store" because those thoughts are sadly common for her... just like they were for me when I was her age... just like they are for me still this day!

Talking in all honesty my fears are so "real" that they show themselves in my head... almost like pictures! I can SEE the very things that scare me the most "happening" in my head! When I was little I was afraid my parents would die, I could see them like a clear image in my head... lifeless... with their eyes open... "staring at me" but not really looking. I remember how afraid I was sometimes even to get home from school because those images would "attack" me while at school and I was afraid to confirm my fears once I would get home... Those fears are still very "real" for me to this day... But today is not my parents or my siblings what appear in my horrible "awake-nightmares" it's my husband or my daughters! And those thoughts make me even gasp for air! It's not always the same fear... the fears are way more "complex" now... it's not just "death" or a "blank stare" it's so much more! And it's the knowledge of our sick/dark world that has made my nightmares way more elaborated.

So when my 7 year old came to me that night, crying about what she was "seeing"... I was happy I got the answer so quickly! I told her:

- "Those are just huge bags filled with air"
- "What?" she said.
- "Yes baby! Remember at the store you couldn't understand why your sister was so afraid of those bags? Well... she was scared because to her, those monsters seem sooo real... but ... are they?"
- "No, they are not!" she replied
- "Well, your fears look big, and real! but they are not! and we need to fill ourselves with truth and understand what's real RIGHT NOW so we can overcome and not be afraid of those *monsters* anymore... once we see them for what they are... they won't be as scary and every time we see them again we will just have to remember the TRUTH about them"
- "Ah! I see!" She said wiping her tears and almost with a smile in her face.

So I proceeded to read out loud from Psalm 91: (it was the first one that came to mind)

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”
³ Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.

As I said each word of these verses tears started washing my own fears away... fears that I wasn't even thinking about before I started reading... But the Word of God is surely alive and it reveals things! It changes, transforms, cleanses, breaks, restores, heals and convicts!  My daughter and I had a special moment... when we both just admitted our very weaknesses and our need to go to God and give it all to Him... Praise God for His Word and for the freedom we still have to read it to one another.

Are there any "Bags filled with air" scaring you right now? they might be very different from what I described but... what is it that you're going through? Are you experiencing anxiety? overwhelming sadness? paralyzing fear in your life? Deflate them with THE TRUTH! Pop those huge, scary balloons that look sooo real and powerful with the sharp sword of His Word. Let the big scary shadows vanish with His light! I am not saying I know exactly what you're going through... I am sure you might even have very justifiable reasons to feel the way you do... But remember you have a Sword, a Shelter, a Refuge, a Strong Tower... Our Almighty God and His Holy Word at all times with you. What are your favorite Bible verses for times of desperate need of comfort/peace and encouragement? Share them so we can together focus on the TRUTH.

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philipians 4:8

© Paloma K.

God is working... Will you join Him?

I think it was about a year ago (or two maybe? Not sure) when I had the opportunity to do the Experiencing God Bible Study with the Ladies Group at my church... It was really, really good... God used it to speak to many of us in such a powerful way that a few even took radical decisions and made drastic changes that would impact their lives and their families.... One recurrent point made throughout this study is that God is at work... always... and we can join Him in what He's already doing... And I just want to share with you about something wonderful that is going on right now in our group....

I am part of this amazing Ladies Bible Study group... We have a different study every Spring and every Fall... The ladies that I serve with are amazing... They truly are a gift in my life! I felt so connected to all of them even from the first time I met them... I knew I was meant to be there! But just recently I started to feel like we should have a "Spanish group" be part of our Study... Now... this is not an "original idea" or something that I can take credit for... This has been done in the past... but for one reason or another it never came to completely take form... Of course ... It is hard! It's not a "Spanish speaking church" ... so that made me doubt it was even a "good idea"... I wondered if it was just "my wanting to do this Spanish thing" just of my own desire... BUT... I checked in my heart and I realized I actually kind of "didn't want to do it" ... I was happy with my group of people I already knew ... I didn't want to get out of my comfort zone! You might think a "Spanish group" would be my comfort zone... but these would be people I didn't know... and I wanted to be with the friends I already knew. Regardless of the doubts I still I brought it up to the Women's Ministry leader (our church is amazing and they support you SO MUCH)... but I even had a condition... I would support the Spanish group if somebody else would do it with me... (I even had a name who I wanted that person to be!) Thankfully that other person (and dear friend) accepted the challenge and even when we both didn't know what this would look like, and we didn't know what to even expect or how many women would sign up we both agreed and said "yes"...

There were a couple of months of "registration" and when the FIRST DAY of Bible Study came, my friend and I were a little nervous (I could actually say I was EMBARRASSED to even have "suggested" to do something like this) because only ONE other lady signed up!

Was this really necessary? Did I just make the "need" of a Spanish group up? Maybe it was just a "wishful thought"? I felt bad for any logistics involved with planning for an extra group and buying BOOKS IN SPANISH for this study... 12 books were bought! 1 lady signed up??? I knew my Spanish speaking neighbor would come too (she said so...) So at least we might have two! My friend and I looked at each other that day and said: "I wonder who else will come" and there we were... Ready to serve the 1 or 2 ladies that would show up...

That day... as we sat in our classroom... We used 12 books... Yes... 12 Books! And as of today we officially have 14 ladies in our group!

That very first day, when we introduced ourselves with one another and shared a little bit about why we were there and what we expected from the Study... the theme was the same... each of the ladies said "I was hoping for something like this" "I was praying for a Spanish group" "I was needing this" "I was looking for this" ... God was at work! Way before I even thought "I had the idea of a Spanish group"... it was His idea all the time! And He had already been working in the hearts of those that would join! All my friend and I did was jump in the wagon that was already moving! (We both did a little happy dance at the end of that day). 


I am tempted to share with you a picture of these beautiful ladies but I already did the "impulsive thing" of sharing it on my personal facebook.... I don't want to go further and share a picture with them on my blog without their consent and don't want to put them on the spot... But these ladies are so beautiful, genuine, witty, open, wise and smart! So thirsty for God and so faithful! I never expected we would have a big, great,  awesome group like this... BUT GOD!

He is working and He'll continue to add the ones He wants to add!

You want to know what Study we are doing? We are doing the Children of the Day: 1 & 2 Thessalonians by Beth Moore. And it's really hitting home in so many areas of our lives! I highly recommend it!

Are you "sensing" God wants you to do something? Is it out of your comfort zone and that makes you doubt? Just pray... believe... trust and obey! ... He's working at it before you even start! Before you even think you want to start! Will you join Him???

Experiencing God Bible Study




Children of the Day Bible Study



Paloma

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Obedience supersedes my rights....

It is Friday and I feel like writing... It's been a bit since my last post... and I've been thinking of "awesome blog posts" (yeah, right) and yet I don't seem to be able to put them into words (so there's no real proof of it!)... But... I guess one of the "consistent" thoughts in my mind has been the following: "Obedience supersedes my freedom of speech"

In this day and age we are becoming all too used to "saying exactly what we think, right in the moment when we think about it" ... With Facebook, Twitter and all the "instant social media" we are all too tempted to just "type away" our thoughts... (And here I am ... you see? doing it again! But bear with me... I've been giving this some thought... at least I've waited a few months to actually say it)... It seems we all have something "too important" to say that will either:

a). Impress everyone
b). Shock everyone
c). Enlighten everyone
d). Get everyone concerned
d). Change someone else's mind


 I do agree that posting things away (and right away) is way too tempting, I've fallen prey to this temptation in more occasions than I care to admit... But I've seen way too many times conflicts arise from our lack of "filtering what we say" (what *I* say).

I think the speed of our fingers has finally caught up with the speed of our tongue... and this "fire from hell" (James 3:6b)  is now at the tip of our fingers as well... burning it all in the name of "I have a right to express myself" ... Do we have a right to express ourselves? Absolutely! (And I praise God for it! I, like all of you, need my space to vent and express my ideas) but does this right nullifies my responsibility to esteem others above myself? I do not think so...

I have been caught up in way too many more than one occasion in uncomfortable circumstances where I've said something that hurt somebody else whether I meant it or not... the tongue is a "world of iniquity that defiles the whole body" (James 3:6a) but now with our phones and computers it is too easy and too quick to  share exactly what we're feeling in the very exact moment we're feeling it, like it is crucial for the world to hear and know exactly what's going on in my head, whatever the consequences, not minding those around us that could be insulted, offended, hurt by our statements or to even get the wrong impression from us (let's admit it... writing things down gives room for a lot of confusion and misunderstandings, the reader in general, will add the tone that he/she thinks in his/her head)... Now... are we going to be able to spare everyone's feelings? Are we always responsible for how people take what we say or how we feel? Of course not... but just setting some filters would be very beneficial... and I am talking for myself! (I've sometimes gone through those filters 'afterwards' and had to delete some of the things I've written, sadly sometimes it's been too late).

And I guess one of the best filters we can use, of course, is from the Word of God:

Philipians 2:1-4 "If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others."


Not everything we write on Fb or twitter has to be of "supreme relevance" of course, we can be fun or silly... making someone smile is not irrelevant... I'm not even saying anything about "not posting baby pictures" (please! Keep 'em coming!) or "food pictures" (hey! I need to take those!) just making sure that in our "freedom of speech" and right to use "our space" online, we don't forget that there's a world watching us... 

So let's not even accept ideas like: "It's MY timeline" "It's MY wall" "It's MY life" ... if we've been bought for a price... if we are not owners of our very lives... can't we give HIM those other little things? aren't they also His?

My Prayer: Lord, it's me again, Paloma, I pray that this message will be read in the way that I intended for it to sound, in love and not in judgment, for I, myself, am guilty of failing to esteem others better than myself way too many times, forgive me if I said anything that doesn't please you and let Your Word that I shared here produce fruit in my heart and in the hearts of those that read it,  "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer." (Psalm 19:14) 

© Paloma K.

The Coffee Shop is back!

Hello Friends! It's been a long, long, LONG time... I've going through a journey of what some would call 'self-discovery'.

Life happens, things change, children grow, knowledge increases, you freak out, you settle back down, etc... and that's pretty much what's been happening with me! In all this I have been wondering what I can blog about! It is crazy! This blog started with coffee... wanting to talk about it, wanting a cup of it and for sure wanting to share it with all of you! Then, things evolved and I realized that even when coffee would still be present, I wanted to widen my horizons and be able to talk about everything... and by everything I guess I meant "mostly food" because I was obsessed with it... and by mostly food It seemed to be "basically desserts" ... and then the kids came... motherhood hit...



No comments (Mother's Day 2014)

and I continued to blog... but the blog ended up becoming more a "what I baked today" ... and in my constant need to express myself I ended up with several more blogs... one to write about my very unique and fun marriage (I'm a Mexican and he's as white as you can get) so I ended up with a blog named "You're bread, I am tortilla" (or something like that), another blog to express my gratitude towards God for His presence in my life and His mercies towards me (Gratefulness Journal) and in the trying to stay true to my roots I ended up with another blog (but now about Mexican cooking) named "Cooking with Fire"...  and as the weight from all that amazing dishes became a BIG issue I then created yet another blog that I will not mention here but it talks about my journey towards a healthier weight... and yet another one, my latest blog was even a couponing blog (because yes, I became a couponer) ...... see how crazy? It's been basically a lot... and I've changed a lot... also my relationship with food has changed a lot as well (no sugar for me and only occasionally for my family! (Who would've thought???)  but... then... blogging just stopped! As things changed and I realized I couldn't keep opening blogs for every single idea that crossed my mind  I just stopped and realized this is the blog where I always come back... but I still love communicating and expressing and sharing... So I am trying to re-gain those of you who are still out there and still wanting to know about me and what's going on over here... and I look forward to updates from all of you to know what's going on over there... in your lives!

I still love cooking and I still love taking pictures!

 

Cooking classes... just a dream! they're expensive! It would be a fun date though!

I still love coffee and I still love talking with you! Whoever you are! I definitely need this space where I know I can connect with others! Thankfully I have lots of IRL people that are always there... but there's just something about a virtual space that allows you to connect with people that otherwise you would never even know exist! I want to make sure I stay here... in spite of all the changes! I'll be in touch with all of you! I guess I put myself and the blog in a box and I felt like I could only talk about 'a specific thing' here... I guess I forgot what I always said this blog would be... Just like a COFFEE SHOP... where we can talk about everything and anything going on in life! Whether we agree or disagree.. it will be ok! We're just here for coffee and to have a good time! We can get into the nitty gritty of the issues happening even in the politics if you want (blech! that can get ugly!) or we can just talk about the new shade of color on your carpet because of that grape juice your kiddos spilled!

 

Ah! Life! keeps moving, keeps changing, we change with it as well... But here we are... come and have a cup of coffee with me! you might want dessert with your coffee... I will too! (just sugar and gluten free, please)



Coffee always present, even when camping!

Ah! Home, sweet home! It's so good to be back!

Your friend... Paloma.

© Paloma K.